Mello Beecomes A Kidnapper
by sxc pancake power
Summary: THAT IS NOT A BAD PUN AT ALL. Misa gets kidnapped by Mello and then she discovers his collection. Then some stupid stuff happens.


One stormy night at 11:00 PM, outside the Slutty Ho Modeling Agency, a girl by the name of Misa Amane begun to walk home. It was raining and she didn't have an umbrella, but that's okay. She's a whore, who cares?  
"Oh my Gooood! I just LOVE being a skanky little ho! Hmm, I wonder how many people I can have **sex** with before I get home!"  
Misa thought she heard footsteps so she turned around. There was someone standing under a street light. Misa couldn't see his or her face because they were looking down and their face was in shadow, but the person had blond hair and was wearing black.  
Misa didn't care if it was a rapist (because she's a whore) so she turned around and kept walking.

As soon as Misa kept walking, she could hear that persons' footsteps again, only this time it was faster, because they assumed Misa wouldn't fight back since she wasn't even worried when she knew someone was following her.

Misa got struck over the head and then became unconscious. Stupid bitch, what do you expect?! God, I can barely contain my hate for her...

* * *

When Misa woke up, although she couldn't see it, there was a paper 'L' glued to her head. She was in a dark, small room and couldn't see anything around her. There was one small ray of light (somehow) and she was sitting in it.  
"Hello, Misa Amane."  
AND THEN, the beam of light widened and it showed that Mello was standing next to Misa. He was holding a bar of chocolate and licked it once.  
"Oh my God! What do you want from me?! Are you gonna rape me?!"  
"Ew! No."  
"What are you, gay or something?!"  
"No, it's just that you're such a whore that if I raped you I'd get like forty STDs. I only kidnapped you for practice."  
"Practice for what?!"  
"I can't say. Spoilers...But anyway! Now I can add you to my collection!"  
"Collection of what?"

Just then, a bee that was struggling to fly due to the the paper 'B' that was sticky-tape to it flew past them in the beam of light.  
"My collection...Of living stuff with paper letters sticky taped and glued on them."  
The lights in the room all went on.  
There were so many animals with different coloured letters sticky-taped and glued to them. There was a green snake with a purple 'Q' glued onto it, a frog with a yellow 'N' sticky-taped onto its' back, a llama with an 'O' taped to the back of its' head, and many other animals with letters...I'm just too lazy to say all of them. Also, I doubt everyone wants to read about every single animal there, but you get the picture. It was like a zoo!

The door to the right of Misa flew open and the wind howled.  
"NOOO!" Mello screamed. But it was too late. All the animals were swift and made their way outside.  
"NOOOOOO!!!"  
Mello threw his chocolate on the ground.  
"Nooo! My animals! Damn you, Near! DAMN YOU!"  
"Hey, who's Near?"  
"Oh, he's like, this guy I know."  
"How do you know it was him though?"  
"...Well, duh! He always does stuff like this!"  
"Um...Maybe next time you should just lock the door?"  
"IT WAS NEARS' FAULT."

Mello covered his face with his arm and begun to cry.  
"I really loved those animals..."  
Misa fell to the ground and begun to roll over to the open door. Without showing his face again, Mello went over to the door and kicked it shut.  
"But you...Could help me get them back..."  
"No thanks, I'd rather be a skanky-ass ho."  
"YOU'RE GOING TO HELP ME GET THEM BACK, OKAY?!"  
"But I don' wanna..."  
"You're going to help me get them back, or else I'll kill you."

JUST THEN, that shinigami guy appeared (I think his name is Gelus) and he had dynamite strapped to him.  
"MISA, RUN! I'LL SAVE YOU!"  
"...What the Hell is going on?!"  
"JUST RUN!"  
"Um, yeah. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm tied up."  
Gelus flew down to Misa and untied her. Misa ran out the door and slammed it shut.  
Mello gasped.  
"Oh my God! You know what?! I liked that bee the best, because it was a bee and it had a paper 'B'...Heh heh, that was so cute."  
Gelus exploded with the dynamite but Mello survived because...Well, because he's awesome. And he lost his favourite bee! He's suffered enough pain today.

* * *

Since Gelus was dead, he couldn't save her from that psychopath stalker with a knife, so she died.

And then the next time Mello and Near saw each other, Mello hit Near across the face.


End file.
